Day 9: The Shaft

[14:16] <DesertBell> Hey how come both of the bisexual companions in DAO are rogues?

[14:16] <Southpaw> :O

[14:16] <DesertBell> Never noticed that before

[14:16] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Because rogues do it from behind.

[14:17] <Southpaw> :p

[14:17] <DesertBell> I accept this logic.

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[14:18] <Seren-y-Gogledd> He fiddles with the thing a lot

[14:18] <DesertBell> He can fiddle with MY thing a lot…

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[14:21] <DesertBell> Wanna go talk to Dat Ash?

[14:22] <Southpaw> You wanted to yell at her, if I remember correctly

[14:22] <DesertBell> I’m just saying, we need renegade points.

[14:23] <DesertBell> I don’t WANT to yell at her, I just think she should kind of… take one for the team

[14:23] <DesertBell> Bonus: Taking one for the team NOW kind of warms her up for later.

[14:24] <Dame_Seren> Being an ass for the greater good, then.

[14:24] <Southpaw> Poor Ash. First she gets yelled at, then she gets nuked.

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[14:39] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Wrex could probably step on a volus.

[14:39] <Southpaw> :D

[14:39] <Southpaw> Or bounce one like a basketball

[14:40] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Do you think their suits would pop?

[14:40] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I just imagined him stepping on loads of volus, making fart noises with each one.

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[14:43]  * DesertBell does not want to talk to Tali.

[14:43] <DesertBell> Tali?

[14:43] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Dare we talk to Tali again?

[14:44] <Southpaw> …dice time. 1 yes, 2 no

[14:44] <Southpaw> 1 :'(

[14:44] <DesertBell> Sigh.

[14:45] <Southpaw> I see how it’s going to be, dice.

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(Tali is complaining about the Normandy being too quiet, and asks Shepard how she sleeps with all the silence.)

[14:47] <DesertBell> How do I sleep at night? Well, I play back the recording of our last conversation and it knocks me right out.

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[14:47] <DesertBell> THE SILENCE.

[14:47] <DesertBell> O.O

[14:47] <DesertBell> THE SILENCE ARE ON THE NORMANDY. It all makes so much sense now.

[14:48] <Dame_Seren> TALI IS A SILENT

[14:48] <DesertBell> That’s why the mask. So people remember her

[14:48] <Dame_Seren> The mask is to avoid being forgotten

[14:48] <DesertBell> Holy shit the quarians are Silents. It all makes so much sense now.

[14:48] <Dame_Seren> Ninja’d

[14:48] <Southpaw> I have no idea what you are talking about

[14:49] <DesertBell> You should watch Doctor Who.

[14:49] <Southpaw> Yeah, I really should.

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Admiral Hackett contacts Shepard with a mission.

[14:54] <DesertBell> SHOCKING, Fifth Fleet wants something.

[14:55] <Southpaw> They’re a bunch of whiny babies who can’t get shit done without us.

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[14:56] <Southpaw> Say, –get a bomb disposal team

[14:57] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Shepard, you’re a fecking engineer.

[14:57] <DesertBell> lol

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[15:01] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Drivin’ mah space car up a mountain

[15:02] <DesertBell> drivin mah space car OFF a mountain.

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[15:02] <Southpaw> I’m at the shaft and there is talk

[15:02] <DesertBell> That’s what she said

[15:02] <Southpaw> OH DEAR

[15:02] <Southpaw> Walked straight into it

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[15:08] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Going for the shaft now.

[15:08] <DesertBell> That’s what she said.

[15:08] <Southpaw> I can’t believe I walked into that one

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[15:10] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I just drove down a near-vertical cliff face.

[15:10] <Southpaw> Mako is the best

[15:10] <Seren-y-Gogledd> And I mean down, not off.

[15:11] <DesertBell> I rocket boosted my ass over the edge and fell.

[15:11] <DesertBell> I imagined Kaidan screaming in terror the whole time.

[15:12] <Southpaw> Poor feller

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[15:13] <Seren-y-Gogledd> They made the wrong kind of multiplayer. Mako racing FTW!

[15:14] <Southpaw> OH MAN THAT WOULD BE TOO AWESOME FOR WORDS

[15:14] <Seren-y-Gogledd> With bonuses for going up mountains!

[15:14] <Southpaw> :D

[15:14] <DesertBell> That is brilliant.

[15:15] <Southpaw> Dammit, Bioware should hire you

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15:15] <DesertBell> My husband likes to watch me go up mountains: “You’re never going to make it. Look, you’re stuck, you aren’t moving, why aren’t you just going back down?”

[15:15] <Southpaw> lolol

[15:15] <DesertBell> I’m always like, “Shut up, there’s a trick to this.”

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[15:16] <Southpaw> Oblivious Shep is oblivious. Wrex knows it’s a trap

[15:17] <Seren-y-Gogledd> LOL Wrex.

Our heroes find out that the mission was a trap.

[15:18] <DesertBell> Wrex is like, “Goddammit woman, I TOLD you this was a trap.”

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[15:20] <Southpaw> Squeeee the bf is playing Dragon Age

[15:21] <DesertBell> “who cares?”

[15:22] <DesertBell> For the record… “Who cares” was dialog and not a commentary on your boyfriend playing Dragon Age.

[15:22] <Southpaw> :D I know.

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Mocking an NPC’s dialog…

[15:22] <DesertBell> I always imagine this guy saying, “And it would’ve worked, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

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[15:23] <DesertBell> FAILED FAILED FAILED

[15:23] <Southpaw> …

[15:23] <Southpaw> Does it echo in here?

[15:23] <DesertBell> So, I THINK he’s saying his plan… failed?

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Kaidan says, “What do we do now?”

[15:25] <DesertBell> … I have some ideas about what we can do now, Alenko. Wrex, close your eyes.

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Hackett has another mission for Shepard…

[15:47] <DesertBell> HACKETT! What a surprise.

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And another.

[16:07] <DesertBell> Jesus Hackett.

[16:07] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Hello there Hackett

[16:07] <DesertBell> Or rather, “Jesus, Hackett!”

[16:07] <DesertBell> I did not mean to imply that Hackett was in fact a resurrected deity.

[16:07] <Southpaw> LOLOL

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AND ANOTHER.

[16:08] <Southpaw> CAN’T THEY GET ANYTHING DONE BY THEMSELVES?

[16:08] <DesertBell> “You’re a spectre, Shepard. And clearly you have nothing better to do.”

[16:09] <Southpaw> “You’re spectre so we will boss you around like there’s no tomorrow”

[16:09] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Never mind stopping Saren and saving the galaxy, run our errands!

[16:10] <DesertBell> “When you’re done with that, we ran out of milk at Alliance Command and I hate dry cereal.”

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[16:11] <DesertBell> Anyone remember what was on Trebin?

[16:11] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I think a thresher maw

[16:11] <DesertBell> Ew. Do not want.

[16:11] <Southpaw> Eeeep

[16:12] <DesertBell> Check it out: You can kill the human reaper with two hits from the Cain… the Threshew Maw takes two hits and STILL NEEDS ATTACKING.

[16:12] <DesertBell> Clearly, Thresher Maws > Reapers.

[16:12] <DesertBell> OMG, I just figured out how to save the galaxy.

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Go to Day 10: Our Penis, Which Art in Codpurse

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