Day 28: Butt Cap
[22:32] <DesertBell> Man, now I want to skip ME1MPXP and make cookies. That can’t be right. I think my brain is broken.
[22:32] <Seren-y-Gogledd> That is seriously broken
[22:32] <DesertBell> Pumpkiny cookies
[22:32] <Southpaw> Disturbing
[22:32] <DesertBell> OOh with cream cheese frosting
[22:32] <Southpaw> *drool*
[22:34] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Also, having played all classes, Engineer is my favourite. Maybe because of you two.
[22:35] <DesertBell> Awwww *sniffle*
[22:35] <Seren-y-Gogledd> (Overload certainly helps though)
[22:37] <Seren-y-Gogledd> So is there any sidequesting we need to do or shall we go get cockblocked by Joker?
[22:38] <DesertBell> To the Citadel?
[22:39] <Seren-y-Gogledd> To the Batcave!
[22:39] <DesertBell> Wrong Joker.
[22:39] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Er, Citadel.
[22:39] <DesertBell> This tea kind of tastes like spicy ass.
[22:39] <Southpaw> *guffaw*
[22:39] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I’m not even going to ask.
The Locker Scene.
[22:45] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Yikes, if we reload, that’s a LOT to redo
[22:46] <DesertBell> Yeah, but then we get to do this again.
[22:52] <Seren-y-Gogledd> From where she’s sitting, that’s one hell of a codpurse view.
[22:54] <DesertBell>I LOVE THAT SCENE
[22:55] <Southpaw> I think it’s my favourite scene in anything ever
[22:55] <Seren-y-Gogledd> You have a separate save just for that, don’t you?
[22:55] <DesertBell> …possibly just made one.
[22:55] <Southpaw> Damn, I need to make one.
[22:56] <DesertBell> Haha Kaidan. “You can see half the citadel from up here”
[22:57] <DesertBell> That’s not all you can see, how freaking tight is his armor?
[22:58] <Southpaw> Aaaand I can see inside Wrex’s suit again
[22:58] <DesertBell> ….ew.
[22:58] <Southpaw> Yeah.
[22:58] <DesertBell> So, while you’re in there, 1 or 2?
[22:58] <Southpaw> Wait, what?
[22:59] <DesertBell> penii
[22:59] <Southpaw> …oh. OH. NO no no no
[22:59] <Southpaw> Just his back hump
[22:59] <DesertBell> Suuuure
[22:59] <Southpaw> *gets brain bleach*
[22:59] <DesertBell> Yeah, it’s WAAAY to late for THAT.
Conrad asks to be made a Spectre:
[23:05] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Is he fucking serious?
[23:06] <DesertBell> Shep looks like she’s trying not to laugh and Kaidan looks like, “Oh for fuck’s sake”
[23:07] <Southpaw> Heck, let’s go renegade. — there are no good fights
Shepard pulls a gun on Conrad.
[23:07] <Southpaw> *evil cackle*
[23:08] <DesertBell> He whined. That’s hot.
[23:08] <DesertBell> *eyeroll*
Talking to Saracino, Shepard refuses to be a racist asshole. Saracino then asks her to appear in his advertising.
[23:16] <DesertBell> “Hey, I think you’re a racist douche.” “Understood. Want to advertise for my campaign?”
[23:16] <DesertBell> He is NOT my favorite politician on the Citadel.
[23:16] <Seren-y-Gogledd> –I won’t support you.
[23:17] <Southpaw> “with all due respect, you’re a douchenozzle”
[23:17] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Remember to dickpunch Terra Firma.
[23:17] <Southpaw> Yes >:(
[23:17] <DesertBell> LMAO The protesters are saying “Freedom isn’t free”
[23:17] <DesertBell> Dying
[23:18] <Southpaw> Yup, reminds me of …a song
[23:18] <DesertBell> HAHA
[23:18] <DesertBell> “No blood for Aliens”
Elias calls Shepard “Soldier”.
[23:20] <Seren-y-Gogledd> ENGINEER, YOU PRICK.
[23:20] <Southpaw> *snortle*
[23:20] <DesertBell> Clearly, there is only one option here. “–I’m not just a soldier.”
[23:21] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Finally, it paid off.
Talking to Elias, the drug addicted politician. He’s racist.
[23:23] <Seren-y-Gogledd> OK, he’s a douche.
[23:23] <DesertBell> Yeah… he’s an asshat
[23:23] <DesertBell> An anal bowler
[23:23] <DesertBell> A rectal chapeau
[23:24] <Southpaw> Wh- hahaha
[23:25] <DesertBell> A colonic beret
[23:26] <Southpaw> Those are some inventive names you’re calling him
[23:26] <DesertBell> I’m running out of ass terms, though
[23:26] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Butt cap.
[23:26] <DesertBell> A hemorrhoid tophat.
[23:26] <Southpaw> *spittake*
[23:27] <DesertBell> –you’re an asshole. I mean addict.
[23:27] <Southpaw> Butt cap is very simple yet effective
[23:27] <DesertBell> I agree. Short and to the point.
[23:28] <DesertBell> Speaking of to the point
[23:28] <DesertBell> I bought a new wreath for the front door yesterday, and it has a couple ornaments on it that I swear to TIM look a lot like butt plugs.
[23:29] <DesertBell> I was like, “It’s on sale, but… buttplug Christmas?”
[23:30] <Southpaw> And you bought it?
[23:30] <DesertBell> Yup.
Doing the quest where you cheat on the gambling machines:
[23:43] <Southpaw> I guess I got busted
[23:44] <Southpaw> He’s like “you’re using that device, did he give it to you? I can’t let you keep it”
[23:46] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I just got busted
[23:47] <Southpaw> Bell?
[23:47] <DesertBell> still going
Two minutes later:
[23:49] <DesertBell> FINALLY
[23:50] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Well of course Queen Ninja would struggle to get caught.