Day 14: Boobmonster

[Hecate Shepard, medic molester]

[13:44]    * DesertBell is fantasizing about a world where all formats can play together in peace

[13:45] <Southpaw> That’s the way it should be

[13:45] <Seren-y-Gogledd> It would be too, were it not for fanboyish pissing contests

[13:45] <Southpaw> Although in reality it would just translate into “more people to hurl abuse at”

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Walking past Han Olar triggers dialogue, which starts with him saying, “They came out of there.”

[13:48] <Southpaw> Olar speaks

[13:48] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Ooh Han Olar spoke

[13:48] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Ninja’d

[13:49] <Seren-y-Gogledd> They Came Out Of There, lamest invasion movie ever.

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[13:52] <Southpaw> Kaidannnn, whre the fuck are you? I bet his hitting on that guard agay (typo, I am so keeping it)

[13:52] <DesertBell> He’s just preparing for ME3

[13:52] <Southpaw> Naw, poor baby got stuck behind the evil door

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Shepard demands that Doctor Zev Cohen give her Medigel.

[13:57] <DesertBell> She’s a damn bully.

[13:57] <Seren-y-Gogledd> She forced medi-gel out of him?

[13:57] <Southpaw> 8O

[13:58] <DesertBell> O.O

[13:58] <Southpaw> That’s a horrified smiley, by the way, not number 80

[13:58] <DesertBell> So… the whole Jacob Taylor thing makes a lot more sense now…

[13:58] <DesertBell> She really IS sexual harassment panda.

[13:58] <Southpaw> OH DEAR OH DEAR

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Phoenix Armor is pink and white and very, very girly.

[14:05] <Southpaw> Aaaand I just put Kaidan in Phoenix armor

[14:06] <Southpaw> Well, it is pretty good an armor

[14:06] <DesertBell> And he looks so pretty in it.

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[14:08] <Seren-y-Gogledd> It’s Deanna Troi

[14:09] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Also talking to Counselor Benezia

[14:09] <DesertBell> Matriarch Troi

[14:10] <Seren-y-Gogledd>Say, –You can’t take me

[14:10] <Southpaw> Ha!

[14:10] <Seren-y-Gogledd> That’s what Riker said.

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[14:11] <Southpaw> Aaand ded

[14:13] <Southpaw> Ded again

[14:13] <DesertBell> Dude, they’re geth, you’re an engineer. Spam tech at them.

[14:14] <Southpaw> Asari keep flooring me

[14:17] <Seren-y-Gogledd> some people pay good money to be floored by an asari.

[14:17] <Southpaw> :P

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[14:16] <Seren-y-Gogledd> See, by not getting Liara first we’ve spared her the whole matricide thing

[14:16] <Southpaw> How nice of us

[14:16] <DesertBell> We’re absolute saints is what we are.

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[14:22] <Southpaw> Oh look, I kicked her ass! ON HARDCORE, MOFOS

[14:22] <DesertBell> You’re a BAMF.

[14:22]    * Seren-y-Gogledd hands Southpaw the Badass Crown.

[14:22] <Southpaw> FUCK YEA

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[14:24] <DesertBell> Say “Your troops are sloppy”

[14:24] <DesertBell> “And you SERIOUSLY need a bra fitting”

[14:24] <Southpaw> “Also, where do you keep your nipples?”

[14:25] <DesertBell> She’s like, “They’re right here in my purse.”

[14:25] <Southpaw> LOLOL

[14:25] <Southpaw> Nipple purse

[14:25] <DesertBell> Nipurse

[14:26] <DesertBell> From Bandai, the makers of the Codpurse!

[14:26] <Southpaw> Asari physiology is quite interesting

[14:26] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Medigel is ALL BIOTIC BODY FLUIDS

[14:26] <Southpaw> :O

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Benezia talks about being trapped within her mind, “Beating upon the glass as your hands torture and murder”.

[14:27] <DesertBell> So apparently, if I’m reading this right, Asari have glass partitions in their brains?

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[14:28] <Seren-y-Gogledd> And I’m going to wave my hands while I explain

[14:28] <DesertBell> Benezia has some ‘splainin to do

[14:28] <Southpaw> WATCH OUT she’s trying to hypnotize us!

[14:28]    * DesertBell thinks I Love Lucy jokes never go out of style

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[14:30] <Seren-y-Gogledd> KAIDAN SPOKE

[14:30] <DesertBell> Oh, Kaidan, I’ll tell you where to go.

[14:31] <DesertBell> MY CABIN. STAT.

[14:31] <Southpaw> <3

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[14:31] <DesertBell> She just did that memory thing Thane does, guys.

[14:32] <DesertBell> “his teeth are at my ear, fingers at my spine”? *shudder*

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[14:32] <DesertBell> You guys, Benezia has a beard.

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Benezia’s last words are, “There is no light? They said there would be a-”

[14:33] <DesertBell> And now Benezia is going to hell.

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The Rachni Queen uses the dead Asari to speak for her

[14:35] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Resident Evil: Asari Edition.

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[14:37] <Southpaw> Boobmonster is dead

[14:38] <DesertBell> Those probably weren’t even boobs, guys. Those were probably some kind of fungus that attaches to asari skin

[14:38] <DesertBell> Or gigantic tumors

[14:38] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Fun fact: Benezia is distantly related to Broodmothers.

[14:38] <DesertBell> I wonder what Asari darkspawn would look like?

[14:38] <Southpaw> boobtastic

[14:38] <DesertBell> Also, now I need art depicting Benezia as a broodmother.

[14:38] <Southpaw> Yikes

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Deciding the fate of the Rachni Queen

[14:27] <Southpaw> Oh shit I hope I don’t have to decide

[14:38] <DesertBell> Oh god I hope I don’t have to pick

[14:39] <Southpaw> :D

[14:39] <Seren-y-Gogledd>Say, –You want to talk, be quick

[14:39] <Southpaw> She is wonderfully petulant

[14:39] <DesertBell> Well, SHE DIDN’T ASK TO BE A SPECTRE.

[14:39] <DesertBell> Except that she kind of did.

[14:41] <DesertBell> I never understood why we couldn’t leave the Rachni Queen and let the council sort it all out

[14:41] <Southpaw> EeWWW

[14:41] <Southpaw> Yeah, it’s annoying

[14:41] <DesertBell> Eeewww?

[14:41] <Southpaw> At the fungus

[14:41] <DesertBell> INVESTIGATE

[14:42] <DesertBell> And don’t for a second think this means you don’t have to pick, Seren-y-gogledd.

[14:42] <Southpaw> Hahahha

[14:43] <Southpaw> Also Kaidan is not going to be happy with us, whatever we decide. Because he wanted the council to decide

[14:43] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Say,–I’ll free you.

[14:43] <DesertBell> We’ll make him happy with us later.

[14:43] <Southpaw> *eyebrow waggle*

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Wrex objects to letting the Queen live, and the decision passes to the next player.

[14:43] <DesertBell> AWWWW

[14:44] <DesertBell> This is SO UNFAIR.

[14:44] <Southpaw> Hahahaha

[14:44] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Heheheheheh

[14:44] <DesertBell> I am curious to see what happens if I pick, “You’re right. She dies.”

[14:44] <DesertBell> Because if it makes us choose AGAIN it would be unbelievable awesome

[14:45] <DesertBell> So. *deep breath*

[14:45] <DesertBell> Say, –You’re right. She dies.

[14:45] <Southpaw> Nah, I’m pretty sure that will be the actual decision

[14:45] <DesertBell> Aw, now I feel guilty.

[14:46] <Seren-y-Gogledd> You MURDERER

[14:46] <Southpaw> lolol

[14:46] <Southpaw> Oh man, this is so great

[14:47] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Also, serves you right for trying to make me pick.

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The Rachni Queen tries to fight back.

[14:45] <Southpaw> Wait, didn’t she just say we get to decide? Too late to start bitching now

[14:45] <DesertBell> rofl

[14:46] <DesertBell> She’s a mom, she was trying the “do the right thing” tactic.

 

Go to Day 15: Oooh, Mr Alenko, Oooh!

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