Day 14: Boobmonster
[Hecate Shepard, medic molester]
[13:44] * DesertBell is fantasizing about a world where all formats can play together in peace
[13:45] <Southpaw> That’s the way it should be
[13:45] <Seren-y-Gogledd> It would be too, were it not for fanboyish pissing contests
[13:45] <Southpaw> Although in reality it would just translate into “more people to hurl abuse at”
Walking past Han Olar triggers dialogue, which starts with him saying, “They came out of there.”
[13:48] <Southpaw> Olar speaks
[13:48] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Ooh Han Olar spoke
[13:48] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Ninja’d
[13:49] <Seren-y-Gogledd> They Came Out Of There, lamest invasion movie ever.
[13:52] <Southpaw> Kaidannnn, whre the fuck are you? I bet his hitting on that guard agay (typo, I am so keeping it)
[13:52] <DesertBell> He’s just preparing for ME3
[13:52] <Southpaw> Naw, poor baby got stuck behind the evil door
Shepard demands that Doctor Zev Cohen give her Medigel.
[13:57] <DesertBell> She’s a damn bully.
[13:57] <Seren-y-Gogledd> She forced medi-gel out of him?
[13:57] <Southpaw> 8O
[13:58] <DesertBell> O.O
[13:58] <Southpaw> That’s a horrified smiley, by the way, not number 80
[13:58] <DesertBell> So… the whole Jacob Taylor thing makes a lot more sense now…
[13:58] <DesertBell> She really IS sexual harassment panda.
[13:58] <Southpaw> OH DEAR OH DEAR
Phoenix Armor is pink and white and very, very girly.
[14:05] <Southpaw> Aaaand I just put Kaidan in Phoenix armor
[14:06] <Southpaw> Well, it is pretty good an armor
[14:06] <DesertBell> And he looks so pretty in it.
[14:08] <Seren-y-Gogledd> It’s Deanna Troi
[14:09] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Also talking to Counselor Benezia
[14:09] <DesertBell> Matriarch Troi
[14:10] <Seren-y-Gogledd>Say, –You can’t take me
[14:10] <Southpaw> Ha!
[14:10] <Seren-y-Gogledd> That’s what Riker said.
[14:11] <Southpaw> Aaand ded
[14:13] <Southpaw> Ded again
[14:13] <DesertBell> Dude, they’re geth, you’re an engineer. Spam tech at them.
[14:14] <Southpaw> Asari keep flooring me
[14:17] <Seren-y-Gogledd> some people pay good money to be floored by an asari.
[14:17] <Southpaw> :P
[14:16] <Seren-y-Gogledd> See, by not getting Liara first we’ve spared her the whole matricide thing
[14:16] <Southpaw> How nice of us
[14:16] <DesertBell> We’re absolute saints is what we are.
[14:22] <Southpaw> Oh look, I kicked her ass! ON HARDCORE, MOFOS
[14:22] <DesertBell> You’re a BAMF.
[14:22] * Seren-y-Gogledd hands Southpaw the Badass Crown.
[14:22] <Southpaw> FUCK YEA
[14:24] <DesertBell> Say “Your troops are sloppy”
[14:24] <DesertBell> “And you SERIOUSLY need a bra fitting”
[14:24] <Southpaw> “Also, where do you keep your nipples?”
[14:25] <DesertBell> She’s like, “They’re right here in my purse.”
[14:25] <Southpaw> LOLOL
[14:25] <Southpaw> Nipple purse
[14:25] <DesertBell> Nipurse
[14:26] <DesertBell> From Bandai, the makers of the Codpurse!
[14:26] <Southpaw> Asari physiology is quite interesting
[14:26] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Medigel is ALL BIOTIC BODY FLUIDS
[14:26] <Southpaw> :O
Benezia talks about being trapped within her mind, “Beating upon the glass as your hands torture and murder”.
[14:27] <DesertBell> So apparently, if I’m reading this right, Asari have glass partitions in their brains?
[14:28] <Seren-y-Gogledd> And I’m going to wave my hands while I explain
[14:28] <DesertBell> Benezia has some ‘splainin to do
[14:28] <Southpaw> WATCH OUT she’s trying to hypnotize us!
[14:28] * DesertBell thinks I Love Lucy jokes never go out of style
[14:30] <Seren-y-Gogledd> KAIDAN SPOKE
[14:30] <DesertBell> Oh, Kaidan, I’ll tell you where to go.
[14:31] <DesertBell> MY CABIN. STAT.
[14:31] <Southpaw> <3
[14:31] <DesertBell> She just did that memory thing Thane does, guys.
[14:32] <DesertBell> “his teeth are at my ear, fingers at my spine”? *shudder*
[14:32] <DesertBell> You guys, Benezia has a beard.
Benezia’s last words are, “There is no light? They said there would be a-”
[14:33] <DesertBell> And now Benezia is going to hell.
The Rachni Queen uses the dead Asari to speak for her
[14:35] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Resident Evil: Asari Edition.
[14:37] <Southpaw> Boobmonster is dead
[14:38] <DesertBell> Those probably weren’t even boobs, guys. Those were probably some kind of fungus that attaches to asari skin
[14:38] <DesertBell> Or gigantic tumors
[14:38] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Fun fact: Benezia is distantly related to Broodmothers.
[14:38] <DesertBell> I wonder what Asari darkspawn would look like?
[14:38] <Southpaw> boobtastic
[14:38] <DesertBell> Also, now I need art depicting Benezia as a broodmother.
[14:38] <Southpaw> Yikes
Deciding the fate of the Rachni Queen
[14:27] <Southpaw> Oh shit I hope I don’t have to decide
[14:38] <DesertBell> Oh god I hope I don’t have to pick
[14:39] <Southpaw> :D
[14:39] <Seren-y-Gogledd>Say, –You want to talk, be quick
[14:39] <Southpaw> She is wonderfully petulant
[14:39] <DesertBell> Well, SHE DIDN’T ASK TO BE A SPECTRE.
[14:39] <DesertBell> Except that she kind of did.
[14:41] <DesertBell> I never understood why we couldn’t leave the Rachni Queen and let the council sort it all out
[14:41] <Southpaw> EeWWW
[14:41] <Southpaw> Yeah, it’s annoying
[14:41] <DesertBell> Eeewww?
[14:41] <Southpaw> At the fungus
[14:41] <DesertBell> INVESTIGATE
[14:42] <DesertBell> And don’t for a second think this means you don’t have to pick, Seren-y-gogledd.
[14:42] <Southpaw> Hahahha
[14:43] <Southpaw> Also Kaidan is not going to be happy with us, whatever we decide. Because he wanted the council to decide
[14:43] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Say,–I’ll free you.
[14:43] <DesertBell> We’ll make him happy with us later.
[14:43] <Southpaw> *eyebrow waggle*
Wrex objects to letting the Queen live, and the decision passes to the next player.
[14:43] <DesertBell> AWWWW
[14:44] <DesertBell> This is SO UNFAIR.
[14:44] <Southpaw> Hahahaha
[14:44] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Heheheheheh
[14:44] <DesertBell> I am curious to see what happens if I pick, “You’re right. She dies.”
[14:44] <DesertBell> Because if it makes us choose AGAIN it would be unbelievable awesome
[14:45] <DesertBell> So. *deep breath*
[14:45] <DesertBell> Say, –You’re right. She dies.
[14:45] <Southpaw> Nah, I’m pretty sure that will be the actual decision
[14:45] <DesertBell> Aw, now I feel guilty.
[14:46] <Seren-y-Gogledd> You MURDERER
[14:46] <Southpaw> lolol
[14:46] <Southpaw> Oh man, this is so great
[14:47] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Also, serves you right for trying to make me pick.
The Rachni Queen tries to fight back.
[14:45] <Southpaw> Wait, didn’t she just say we get to decide? Too late to start bitching now
[14:45] <DesertBell> rofl
[14:46] <DesertBell> She’s a mom, she was trying the “do the right thing” tactic.