Day 5: Ninja Nuns from Outer Space

[13:26] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I ragequit on Insanity again by the way

[13:26] <Southpaw> :/ where?

[13:27] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Horizon

[13:27] <DesertBell> Horizon’s brutal

[13:28] <Seren-y-Gogledd> The bit with two Scions and a crapton of husks

[13:28] <Seren-y-Gogledd> And the husks have ARMOUR.

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[13:28] <DesertBell> Did I tell you that I saw a tweet from a Dev talking about wall-climbing husks in me3?

[13:29] <Southpaw> WHAT

[13:29] <DesertBell> So, that’ll be… fun…

[13:29] <Southpaw> If by fun you mean lots of screaming and dying

[13:29] <DesertBell> Oh, wait, I play on casual.

[13:29] <Southpaw> >:(

[13:30] <DesertBell> heh heh

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 Kelly informs us we have mail:

[13:32] <DesertBell> SHUT UP KELLY NO 1CURR

[13:32] <DesertBell> I vote we let her die.

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[13:33] <Southpaw> Okay, where to?

[13:33] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I’m up for getting Garrus

[13:33] <DesertBell> Wait did we ever talk to Chakwas and get the Serrice Ice Brandy quist

[13:34] <DesertBell> quest

[13:34] <DesertBell> Misison

[13:34] <DesertBell> GODDAMN IT FINGERS

[13:34] <Southpaw>

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[13:35] <DesertBell> “Shepard, the woman’s restroom is on the Starboard side of the ship”

[13:35] <DesertBell> SHUT UP EDI IT’S MY SHIP I’LL PEE WHERE I WANT

[13:35] <DesertBell> Anyway there’s always a line in the women’s.

[13:36] <DesertBell> Wow. They REALLY do not believe in privacy in the future

[13:36] <Seren-y-Gogledd> And this is why Shep has an en suite.

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[13:43] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Did we get the upgrade from Jacob?

[13:43] <DesertBell> no

[13:43] <DesertBell> Ok, let’s go sexually harass Jacob.

[13:43] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Nah, just friendzone him and get the upgrade.

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Talking to Jacob, DesertBell is determined not to flirt with him.

[13:46] <DesertBell> — do your job. Nothing more.

[13:46] <Southpaw> He rolled his eyes

[13:46] <DesertBell> I don’t even curr

[13:47] <DesertBell> I don’t feel all coated in scale itch, that’s all that matters.

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 Shopping:

[14:01] <DesertBell> Note to self: DO NOT BUY ANY GODDAMN FISH

[14:02] <DesertBell> I like buying the ship models, but I always accidentally buy fish. Then I feel like I have to keep them alive, then I fail and then I feel guilty

[14:02] <Southpaw> Poor fishies.

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Talking to Shisk, who says, “Tell Captain Gavorn we have not killed anyone today.”

[14:02] <Seren-y-Gogledd> How about yesterday, Shisk?

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A Batarian shopkeeper says the discount he’s giving us is practically the shirt off his back:

[14:04] <Seren-y-Gogledd> What would a shirtless Batarian look like, I wonder?

[14:04] <DesertBell> Ew, dude

[14:05] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I’d guess four nipples.

[14:05] <Southpaw> At least

[14:05] <DesertBell> Wait, then how many… oh here we go again.

[14:05] <DesertBell> Now female batarians look like broodmothers in my brain.

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[14:19] == Seren-y-Gogledd changed the topic of #Chatroom to: Krogan penis vs Batarian nipples

[14:20] <Southpaw>

[14:20] <DesertBell> There’s a porn I never want to see. EVER.

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[14:31] <Southpaw> –one thing at a time

[14:31] <DesertBell> She said to the Krogan

[14:31] <Southpaw> AUGH

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[14:34] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Did you take the datapad?

[14:34] <Southpaw> I did

[14:34] <DesertBell> Got it

[14:35] <Southpaw> me three

[14:35] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Heh, ME3

[14:36]  * Seren-y-Gogledd is on FIRE today

[14:36] <DesertBell> Holy crap someone get an extinguisher

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[14:49] <DesertBell> –are you coming?

[14:50] <DesertBell> she said to the Krogan

[14:50] <Southpaw> NOOO

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[14:57] <DesertBell> Nunja’d

[14:57] <DesertBell> Typo. Keeping it.

[14:59] == Seren-y-Gogledd changed the topic of #Chatroom to: Ninja Nuns from Outer Space

[15:00] <Southpaw> Nunja is totally a thing

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In Archangel’s base:

[15:06] <DesertBell> Why are there only 6 body bags?

[15:07] <Southpaw> there’s more upstairs

[15:07] <DesertBell> Wait just found seven and eight

[15:07] <DesertBell> Nine

[15:09] <DesertBell> I can’t find the tenth one

[15:09] <DesertBell> This is like the most morbid game of hide and seek ever.

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[15:38] <DesertBell> Garass

[15:38] <DesertBell> Farrus

[15:38] <DesertBell> GARRUS

[15:38] <DesertBell> LMAO what did you do to me

[15:38] <Southpaw> HAHAHA

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Garrus asks Shepard, “What about those sick experiments Cerberus was doing?”

[15:42] <DesertBell> She WAS those sick experiments they were doing.

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 Garrus says he can’t talk anymore because he has things he needs to do.

[15:50] <DesertBell> CALIBRATIONS

[15:51] <Southpaw> AND SO IT BEGINS.

[15:51] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Yeah, calibrating his ‘weapon’.

[15:51] <Southpaw> *snortle*

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[15:57] <Southpaw> Wait a sec, I’ll go tinker with the armor

[15:57] <DesertBell> OK. I’mma make sure I don’t have any fish.

[15:57] <Southpaw> LOL

[16:00] <Seren-y-Gogledd> LOL I just flushed the toilet in Shepard’s cabin.

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 Meeting Warden Kuril:

[16:11] <DesertBell> They made eye contact across a crowded room, and that’s how it started…

[16:12] <DesertBell> The forbidden love between commander shepard and Warden Kuril.

[16:12] <Southpaw> :S

[16:12] <DesertBell> Star crossed lovers, separated by the fact that he tried to capture and sell her and she had to shoot him in the head

[16:13] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I guess you could say she loved him… to death.

[16:13] <DesertBell> YEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

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[16:20] <Southpaw> Okay, he’s nicely asking me to go into a cell

[16:20] <DesertBell> Well as long as he asks nicely…

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[16:23] <Southpaw> How nice of these guys just to stand there an let me shoot them in the face.

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 Jack is throwing a temper tantrum, and making “Rawr! Arrgh! RAWR!” noises.

[16:37] <DesertBell> Grrr, jack mad

[16:37] <DesertBell> Jack hate cerberus grr.

[16:42] <Southpaw> JACK SMASH

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[16:38] <DesertBell> Let’s get Jack off this ship heheh

[16:38] <DesertBell> Get it?

[16:38] <DesertBell> Jack off?

[16:39] <DesertBell> I’m OUT OF PRACTICE OK.

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[16:43] <Southpaw> You’re up, Seren-y-Gogledd

[16:43] <DesertBell> It’s your turn,…yeah

[16:43] <DesertBell> Dammit

[16:43] <DesertBell> *hands over crown*

[16:43] <Southpaw> *ninja dance*

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Jack says, “Fuck, you sound like a pussy.”

[16:44] <Southpaw> I don’t know why I’m laughing

[16:44] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Because you sound like a pussy?

[16:44] <DesertBell> What does a pussy sound like?

[16:45] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Meow.

[16:45] <DesertBell> HAHAHA

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[16:46] <DesertBell> Oh, Miranda.

[16:46] <Southpaw> look at your life, look at your choices.

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Kelly tells us we have mail. Again.

[16:52] <DesertBell> GODDAMMIT KELLY STOP READING MY EMAIL

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[17:01] <DesertBell> YAY for alt appearance packs

[17:01] <DesertBell> Here’s a shirt, Jack.

[17:01] <DesertBell> PUT IT ON.

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[17:03] <DesertBell> Just shot that guy in the codpurse

[17:03] <Southpaw>

[17:03] <DesertBell> You know, it kind of sounds like a handbag full of fish.

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[17:20] <Southpaw> Jack wasn’t a bad pick, actually, the way she keeps tossing these krogan overboard

[17:22] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Krogan-pulling. It’s a talent.

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Go to Day 6: Ass Effect 2